So there I was, getting used to the idea of having a life-span of four or so months. I described this in my last blog, and now everything has changed. I am in something of a spin.
It turns out that a recent PET scan has shown that I do not have the lung cancer that the doctors thought I had. Intuitively, I half-knew this, but I allowed doubt to take over, believing the doctors’ initial story. Hm, that’s a lesson to learn.
This means that I can start a new form of medication, which was due to start now. It starts on Monday 16th in fact, and I shall have to stay in hospital, the Royal Cornwall at Treliske in Truro, for five or six days, for monitoring as the new drug is applied by injection.
Now, suddenly, I do not seem to have the limited shelf life that I was told I had. So now I shall be starting a new maintenance therapy called Elranatamab. And they will have to keep me in hospital to monitor how I am doing.
I don’t know fully how I feel about all this. I was getting used to the idea of not having much time left, and now it’s a big open question. When I was given four months to live, following the initial shock I felt an element of relief because life is physically difficult, and my life-possibilities are restricted, and I have an element of tiredness with it. It’s quite a burden, filled with obstacles, and rather an uphill climb every day. So I felt a smidgon of relief, feeling that life on the other side might be less strenuous and troubling.
So my disability has to be balanced against the joy and fulfilment I can gain from life or bring to others in the coming time.
The Great Cosmic Trickster has been at it again. Of course this is not the first time in life this has happened, but I find it rather a surprise right now. I am rather tired, deep down, so my motivation for succeeding with this new therapy is not 100%. I am working on getting closer to 100%, but I do have reservations – the main one being that life is such an uphill climb, and I am not sure how much stamina I have left. We shall see.
I shall be going into hospital on Monday, staying there for five or six days, and we shall see what happens then. I find it quite interesting staying in in hospital, as a sort of anthropological experience – like visiting another world. It’s a world that nowadays I’m not used to, yet most people in this proud nation of Britain live in that Muggle world – so, for a few days I’ll be hobnobbing with them. And there will probably be some opportunities to share spirit and special moments with them. So that will be an interesting experience.
I guess I am visitable while I’m in hospital, but I do not know. In fact I have very little information at all. I don’t even know where in Treliske hospital I shall be. But that will reveal itself, and all will be well. Inshallah – if it is the will of God.
So this is a change of plan and roadmap. I don’t know where it leads next. I’ve gone into a plan-free and roadmap-free state, because I don’t know where things are going to lead next. I’ll take it day by day.
It’s funny, because I worked so hard on my last blog – a difficult one to write. And now, it’s irrelevant! It has been superseded by another plan.
I shall be incommunicado while in Treliske, and I shall try to keep you informed when I return home, as to how things are progressing. Thank you for your patience on this.
And isn’t it funny, the way that things go? Loki, the Great Cosmic Trickster, has done it again! I’m in rather a spin.
With love, Palden
You must be logged in to post a comment.